This morning when I got to work I read this sweet little post about c-section moms. You can find it HERE! I enjoyed reading it because you seriously don’t see a lot of stories floating around about c-section births. I wanted to share a little about my own personal experience with having a c-section because this article reminded me of some things I often forget about being a c-section mom.
My entire pregnancy was wonderful with Tegan but they expected her to be 10lbs. at birth & told me I need to keep the idea of a c-section in mind. I am only 4′ 10″ & tiny and they were afraid that she would break my hips. —totally understand why that might need to be an option! However, I had my own birth plan in mind. I had hoped that my water would break on it’s own, and that I would dilate quickly and I wouldn’t need medicine and that I would just be able to push, hold her and feed her and that would be that. (wishful thinking, huh?) I didn’t think it was going to go exactly how I had hoped, but in my mind, my plan was simple & how textbook-ily speaking- women should have babies…
We got off to a great start. She decided that she wanted to come at EXACTLY full-term. No joke. My water broke at midnight on the day I reached 37 weeks. My water broke and that was first on my checklist, so I thought the rest of the night was going to go according to plan as well– HA!
We get to the hospital, I feel fine. We take our time getting settled in, I am excited, happy and anxious to see how dilated I am. When the nurse told me I was only 1cm I was shocked. I thought I was going to walk in at least 4cm! But she told me not worry, and that things tend to move pretty swiftly after the water breaks. So now we are just playing the waiting game… The waiting game that lasted HOURS. They kept asking me if I wanted to go ahead & “just get it over with” by having a c-section. I declined multiple times. At 12 hours, with very little progress, they told me that I was reaching a point that might risk infection and that they had to start pitocin and that was NOT something I wanted to do. But they proceeded and nothing but extremely intense back came from that.
Finally, by 16 hours, Tegan decided she wanted to make a move– IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. So by this point, it was medically necessary for it to be done without risking fetal distress. Everything past making our decision to go through with it is a blur because it happened so quickly. It was scary. It was hard. I was alone. I wasn’t prepared. And when she finally got here, I didn’t get to hold her or see but just a few moments before they rushed her off. BUT I was happy. I was happy that she was FINALLY here, healthy and beautiful! It wasn’t what I wanted, or what I had planned- but it happened & I don’t feel like I was “cheated” in any way. I don’t think it was easy, and I don’t think of myself any less because of it. I do wish I would have been handled differently. I do wish they would have given me a little more time because during my surgery, Tegan began to turn more and she got stuck & it caused them a little trouble getting her out– but overall, she was a perfectly healthy, 5lb 15oz blue eyed baby girl. And THAT is what the birthing process is all about- that one special moment when mom and baby lock eyes for the very first time.
Ever since I had her, I have had a series of problems and it’s made the possibility of more children difficult. (not impossible!) I have been dealing with all sorts of hormone and ovary trouble that would take days to explain, but I have recently switched doctors who has given me a new outlook on how to handle it all. I don’t know if we will have more children yet, but I did hope that one day I would be able to have a vaginal birth after cesarean section (VBAC) with a midwife at a birthing center –Unless Alabama decides to change their laws & allow them here– (but that’s a different topic) But after my last visit I was told I was unable to give birth vaginally and that I would not have any other options. This made me a little sad because it’s not what I wanted. But then I remembered that it wasn’t what I wanted before and everything turned out just fine. This article was a nice reminder that if we do decide to expand our family one day, that a c-section isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t make me any less of a Mama & if that’s what it takes to get my baby here safe, then that’s what I will do.
Please take the time to read the article that sparked this post. Also, if you are not educated on Vaginal Births After a C-Section, or Midwives in Alabama I encourage you to follow the links listed above and learn more.